Top Ten Films of 2012

The year things changed for me. I was in my first year in college. I come home in February and find out my mom has collapsed and has a brain tumor. She didn’t tell me about it for 6 months. I saw The Master later that year. Both these things changed me.

I had seen my grandfather die in front of me a year before. The last breath left his body about 4 minutes after he passed. I asked the nurse about it and she said that was normal. I disagreed but understood that technically speaking as a medical professional she is right. It was completely new and not even unpleasant. Just unsettling.

After I saw the first shot of The Master I realized I hadn’t seen anything like it. The beautiful music composed by Radiohead’s Jonny Greenwood playing over the movement and loud sounds of the ocean. I was transfixed. Something about those sounds with those images had me on the edge of my seat to see the next image. There isn’t much suspense in The Master. The plot isn’t driving or really going anywhere that will pay off in a traditional way. If i squint I can argue it is like a romcom (low on the com) where the leads decide they will love each other forever but can’t be together.

My love of Philip Seymour Hoffman had been carved in stone by this point but watching him portray a pseudo L. Ron Hubbard figure had me wanting to climb on top Mount Sinai and declare what the lord PSH had told me. This was acting. Joaquin Phoenix, who at this time was an outcast that had pissed a lot of people off with his faux-documentary I’m Still Here. But he returned and found something. He was good before this but he had tuned into some other thing deep inside himself to channel this performance. It almost feels wrong. It is great.

My mom didn’t want to do any radiation. She was worried about her hair falling out as most usually are. But, mainly she thought god would heal her. She believed that all her time and effort spent praying, reading scripture, doing everything the christian way that god wanted would provide her with a reward or a healing. It was the thing she dedicated her life in every facet. It wouldn’t be right. Belief without results is hard for most. Especially when anything good happens becomes a blessing gifted from a god who loves you and anything bad is just your fault for disappointing him or evil works from under the ground.

The Master is about many things. You can even add your own problems or the worlds onto it and read it however you want. That’s a great thing about art. It encourages individualism and group think all at once. I eventually talked my mom into attempting to prolong her life. It gave her a few more years. She didn’t lose much hair really. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. But I wanted to try. I didn’t want her to leave her life up to belief. Beliefs can only get you as far as your actions will take you. James chapter 2 says faith without works is dead. And I say, works without faith is fine.

In the end of both the movie and my mom’s story there is peace. I told her it was okay and to let go. She did. Not because of me. But I could feel her hanging on and I wanted her to know I would be fine. Her mom would be fine. She was free to go on and feel no more pain. I saw her slowly pass hoping to see her sister and father again in a wonderful place called heaven.

Freddie Quell was still searching and restless but he lays his head down next to a giant sand sculpture of a naked woman and sleeps. Maybe the best sleep he’s ever gotten. He now understands something. He isn’t sure what, but he knows there is something else. Nothing one man can tell you or you can find in a book. But if you are brave and try to be okay with yourself things can slow down. They can feel manageable. You can stop running away and feeling overwhelmed. We all have a master and beliefs. Just make sure yours are giving you peace. Not repressing or suppressing. But dealing with your issues. Confronting them. Embracing them and making it easier everyday to carry them with you until they have less or no more power over you. Look at me. Even after all this talk. Here I am, preaching. I would like to think this is more of my therapy. This is my Slow Boat to China.

let’s get to the movies.

25. Post Tenebras Lux (Directed by Carlos Reygadas)

24. Cosmopolis (Directed by David Cronenberg) - Amazon Prime

23. 21 Jump Street (Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller)

22. Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (Directed by Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim)

21. John Dies at the End (Directed by Don Coscarelli)

20. The Five-Year Engagement (Directed by Nicolas Stoller)

19. The Dark Knight Rises (Directed by Christopher Nolan)

18. Moonrise Kingdom (Directed by Wes Anderson)

17. Skyfall (Directed by Sam Mendes)

16. Looper (Directed by Rian Johnson)

15. Sinister (Directed by Scott Derrickson) - Netflix

14. Celeste & Jesse Forever (Directed by Lee Toland Kreiger)

13. The Hunt (Directed by Thomas Vinterberg)

12. The Act of Killing (Directed by Joshua Oppenheimer) - Amazon Prime

11. Mud (Directed by Jeff Nichols) - Netflix

top ten

10. Prometheus (Directed by Ridley Scott)

One of the more divisive movies in the last decade. It was crushed by some movie lovers, a lot of casual fans, and even the Alien franchise defenders. I loved it. I thought it dealt with some of the philosophical elements more interestingly than previous installments and Michael Fassbender created the best character of his kind in the series.

9. Wanderlust (Directed by David Wain)

A great comedy theater experience and I miss those so much. Paul Rudd is hilarious and all the supporting cast (most of them from The State and Wet Hot American Summer) fill up each scene with ridiculousness and a sense of community. It’s extremely goofy and should make you feel better no matter what kind of day you had.

8. Lawless (Directed by John Hillcoat) - Netflix

Just a sturdy movie. Good acting, and a story to care about the entire way through. Hardy is our most interesting actor and is making plenty of off-beat but successful choices. Shia, Chastain, Jason “cuck” Clarke, and Dane Dehaan round out a soon to be even more famous cast. Also, whatever Guy Pearce is doing is amazing. I don’t know if it is good but it is welcome.

7. The Place Beyond the Pines (Directed by Derek Cianfrance)

One of the millennial dad canon movies. Maybe more for the sensitive dad’s out there, but still dad. Gosling and Mendes started their real life partnership here. It was the year of “who is Ben Mendlesohn?” for me and it was wonderful. Bradley Cooper is almost completely forgetful in this and not bad. He services the story. But Gosling is the star. Quiet and brooding like we know he loves to do. It is a strange movie with three distinct acts. But I think they all work to varying degrees and get me every time.

6. Seven Psychopaths (Directed by Martin McDonagh) - Amazon Prime

One of the most meta movies of all time. It knows it is a movie from the beginning about a movie and making movies. Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken are maybe at their best here, and it is one of the funniest movies about psycho murderers and dog kidnappers since the 70’s. Martin McDonagh lost some with his last movie but I think he writes some of the best scripts you’ll see.

5. Spring Breakers (Directed by Harmony Korine)

A movie that will alienate you in the first few minutes or get you to laugh. It made me laugh and is a great mix of making fun of the spraaaannggg breaaaaak culture and appreciating what it can be. It’s ridiculous and grounded. It has some of the most beautiful american imagery in recent film. Korine’s love/hate relationship with Florida is interesting to me and he makes great movies about it. (see The Beach Bum)

4. Killing Them Softly (Directed by Andrew Dominik) - Netflix

It is ON THE NOSE but I think it works. It’s an unsubtle movie for some unsubtle times. A good crime genre movie with a lot of plain text to say about america. Pitt, Gandolfini, Richard Jenkins, Scoot McNairy, Ben Mendlesohn, and Ray Liotta are so good. Andrew Dominik made me fall in love with the car door cam in this movie. I love it and I get those not enjoying it.

3. Django Unchained (Directed by Quentin Tarantino) - Netflix

Tarantino makes indulgent art. He packs in as much and nearly every idea he has. This is maybe his most indulgent. And in a movie about slavery that includes so many slurs it can make some uncomfortable and question his intent. I understand that. But I love what it does and I think the performances are top notch. It starts to teeter towards the end after REDACTED gets REDACTED but I still love it. It’s a graphic novel of a movie and not trying to be tasteful. It’s bloody and angry and exciting. I won’t defend the Rick Ross drop though.

2. Frances Ha (Directed by Noah Baumbach) - Criterion Channel

Just a wonderful experience for me everytime. I loved it before I lived in a city or went to New York and I love it even more now. I think it’s one of the most vibrant performances this decade and started my love of Baumbach films. Gerwig is the best thing to ever happen to him and one of the best things to happen to movies. Bless her forever.

1. The Master (Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson) - Netflix

If we meet again in the next life, you will be my sworn enemy, and I will show you no mercy.